New project.

Last night pain in my head getting more hurt, my mind thinking so much about my collage, friends and my mentor. I really wanna run from Sir. mentor in my collage, because I didn't finish my thesis... I felt so guilty yet so scared whenever thinking my mentor... yes everybody said "just do it", or "you can search the source at library.." or 'you're such a sissy..'" if I talk with them about my problem. But, I can't do that... I Can't do what they're said because I felt pressure in my mind... Even I just his face or remember what he said my head becomes so heavy and my eyes wil start cry... though, at first year in my collage I admire him so much 'cause he's so smart, know everything about history and many aspect about knowladge. But now, I know why my friend doesn't like him, 'cause yes he talk the right truth but the way he said that really harsh...  If I can, I wanna die because I really scared with him, his harsh talk about my thesis made my heart hurt! I know he said so, for making me person and  mentally strong, sadly from time to time my heart can't bear it then I became so lazy...   So I think it's better die, I remember he said " a person whose lazy and understimate the knowladge, it's better to  take suicide" so I better to die isn't? Thinking about thesis task from him making me lost motivation and feel guilty plus scared bacause I'm so idiot, oon he said so! and thats true! I'm better lost from this earth. 

But time goes on I relize that I have a hobby that make me happy whenever I got depressed or sad or having a bad day. That is drawing... I really enjoy when I think a new idea for drawing and brush a color on canvas or mixing the pallet... Here I give you one my new drawing project...

hope I can still survive from this sick thinking...

later then...